Hard To Bear
by ExtinctionOfReality
Summary: ShuuKira Summary: Ever since the Academy days, Shuuhei was the one in love with Kira. But what does Kira has to say about it?


**Summary:** Ever since the Academy days, Shuuhei was the one in love with Kira. But what does Kira has to say about it?

**Pairing:** ShuuKira

**Rating:** PG-13

**Warnings:** abstractness/weirdness

**Author's Note:** lol, ridiculous summary, I know. XD This small oneshot is dedicated to _**Kicktokill**_-deary. I should have done this one days ago, but I was not in the right state of mind, unfortunately... Well, as a result at least, this oneshot is not heavy like some of the works I have, so I think it's a good thing, because I wanted to raise a mood, not make it worse with angstiness...

Deary, I hope with everything that I have that you are going to be alright. Please take good care of yourself and I hope this silly little thingie I cooked up will raise your mood at least a bit. XD *huggles*

**Disclaimer:** Do not own Bleach.

_**Hard To Bear**_

The day was just about perfect. Perfect not only because of the weather, but because of Hisagi Shuuhei's mood.

The Academy was loud, everyone was walking around from one lection to another, minding their own business to notice the biggest flirt ever to befall on the days of studying.

Shuuhei couldn't help but smirk as he walked the campus, eyeing all of the ladies, watching them blush and turn away, giggle and start whispering, or give him and inviting wink. Obviously, those who winked were at his sides in an instant.

Hisagi didn't have a type he preferred in women. Any went for him...although big boobs were a huge yes and a plus. He honestly lost count of how many he already fucked, how many faces he saw willing to do him, how many hearts he broke... But that number didn't matter. Shuuhei had no idea how, but no matter how many women he denied, more would come after him anyway.

Did they have a sort of "just watch me, I will be the one to get Hisagi"-plan going on?

Pitiful. Because despite having sex with women, Shuuhei's heart would never be swept away by one.

Making his way down the corridor, Shuuhei grinned brightly when he noticed a familiar blondhead. Kira was walking at a slow pace, his head sometimes turning to look through countless windows as he passed, his look absentminded.

How absolutely stunning he looked...

Pulling his arms out of the two females' grasps, Shuuhei slapped the two on their curvy asses, receiving a yelp as he excused himself with a wink, "Ladies," the two women giggled and after a few whispers, left.

Making his way to Kira, Hisagi all but pounced the blond, his arm around the other's shoulders in an instant, "Hey! What's up?" he almost chirped overjoyed.

Honestly, this guy - Izuru Kira, was the loveliest sight Shuuhei has ever laid his wandering eyes upon. They didn't interact too much, being in different years and classes, but Hisagi kept nagging Izuru, insisting they would become friends. And friends they did become...sorta, well, not really. But thanks to Kira, Shuuhei met Renji and Hinamori too. A pretty entertaining pair at that. But Hisagi didn't care about them. His main focus has always been this, honestly, very oblivious blond.

Shuuhei had no idea if Kira had a thing for women or men or...whatever his preferences were. He has always been kinda asexual. He would blush around when embarrassed on rare occasions, which would be the most beautiful blush Shuuhei has ever seen anyone do, but those were really rare. In fact, the brunet had no clue why he fell in love with Kira. He could do so much better... Izuru was a sort of bastard when you start getting close to him. He was kind and caring, but had that "get-out-of-my-sight" atmosphere going on. Over the months though, Shuuhei learned to look past it. He wanted the blond inside and out and he wasn't weak when it came to a few personality flaws.

And even now, just as Shuuhei wrapped an arm around Izuru's shoulders, his arm was shaked off fast, "Nothing in particular. Just thinking."

Hisagi considered the posibility of this being the way the other played hard to get, but somehow... That idea died over the months. He simply thought that Kira didn't like him, at all. He was trying rather hard to make the blond trust him more, but nothing seemed to work...

But Shuuhei was a stubborn bastard too. And he wouldn't give up that easily.

With another bright grin, them not stopping the walk at all, Shuuhei decided to ask, "Wanna go train together after this? I know this one killer new move I could teach you," a bluff. All to lure Kira in.

Which never worked, "I'm sorry, Hisagi-san. I am busy today."

"Tomorrow?"

"Busy too."

"Next week?"

Kira's eyes shifted to glare at the brunet, "Always busy."

Right. And that was how the days went on.

**39  
**

Letting out a breath after all of the classes, Shuuhei was out of the Academy faster than the speed of light. What a tiresome place... He was in a serious need of a walk. And now.

It was a sunny day with not a single cloud in the sky. Staring up at it, Shuuhei couldn't help but think of Kira...those deep blue eyes... Really, if he wasn't so stuck up and hard to get, Shuuhei would already have him. Sometimes, he really wondered why he tried so hard. He could get any woman he wanted, after some talks even men weren't at all against his ministrations and he already slept with quite a few, mind you, but... Goddammit Kira, why couldn't he get the one he wanted? Annoying...

And thus, he was willing to try hard. Although sometimes the urge was too strong for him to bear... Too strong. He was honestly willing to do anything...

Blinking, surprised, Hisagi's trail of thoughts were stopped by the same blond sitting under a tree not too far from where he was heading, reading a book. He was so absorbed in it, his eyes giving out a light glitter in the sun as he turned the page, hair fluttering in the light breeze...

Busy, my ass.

No, the brunet would never pass up a change such as this. No matter how annoying he was to the blond, and he knew he was, but he just couldn't be helped.

Making fast steps, Shuuhei was by Kira's side in an instant, the usual grin plastered on his face as he sat down beside him, not at all startling the blond as he leaned over his shoulder to take a peek at the book Kira was reading, "What'cha readin'?"

Closing the book right before Hisagi's face, Kira let out a sigh, "Nothing."

"Is it studies-related?"

"No."

"Oh, literature?"

"Depends."

"Prose?"

Kira was annoyed to no end and frowned at Hisagi as he looked right into grey eyes, "Why are you always following me around?"

Shuuhei stared at Kira for a moment, then looked to the side, "You really don't like me that much, huh?"

"Well, how can I when you are nagging me about everything all the time?"

"Is it so bad to want to get to know you?" Shuuhei frowned back at the blond.

"Why would you want to do that? I am not interesting and have a crappy personality."

Oh... The blond had issues with himself? Shuuhei was surprised to learn that, "Hmm... Because of reasons."

"What reasons?"

The brunet has never seen the blond so bitchy pissed about anything before. Not really the most pleasant sight, but at least he was talking to him finally. And Hisagi wasn't about to back down. He was too overconfident for his own good too, "What if I told you I'm in love with you and want you badly? What would you do then?" he let that out easily, without thinking deeply.

And judging from Izuru's reaction, he should have thought against it. He just did something... Something he could never undo.

And Shuuhei knew that their almost non-existent relationship was about to crumble.

Kira, shocked out of his mind, jumped to his feet, the book falling from his lap and he was about to runaway from there, fast, but Hisagi grabbed his robe and pulled him back towards himself, arms around the thin waist, them falling on the grass. Izuru was struggling heavily, but Shuuhei managed to hold him down till the other calmed down.

Letting out a relieved breath, Hisagi shifted their positions so now Kira was lying under him, holding his arms down as he leaned forward to his face, "I know I'm a guy... But, is it so hard for you to accept being loved? I saw Hinamori confessing to you before and you reacted the same..." Shuuhei dared a hand to Izuru's face, running it over the blond's milky skin, "How much worse did I just make it between us...exactly?" leaning forward, Shuuhei captured Kira's lips just like that, feeling the blond stiffen under him, but he didn't stop. The brunet was finally getting what he wanted. It wasn't so hard after all...

As soon as he pulled away from Izuru's face though, he didn't even get a chance to look into blue eyes as he was punched right in the face. Shocked, Shuuhei stumbled on his ass backwards, watching Kira stand up and-

That's when he saw it. The look on the blond's face he would never forget as the other would shake his head in disbelieve, rubbing the sleeve over his lips, muttering firmly, "Disgusting," and leaving.

A hand on his cheek, Shuuhei would sit there with his eyes wide, taking everything in. He was used to getting anyone he wanted, but couldn't get the only person he was willing to try hard for himself.

Shuuhei shifted to his knees.

Kira wasn't into men. And now, he ruined all of his chances as easily as that, by one single confession and a daring move.

The brunet clenched fists, fingers digging into the grass and soil.

They didn't have a good relationship as it was. There was no way they would ever be friends again. It was...

Screaming his lungs out, Shuuhei learned for the first time what heartbreak felt like. And along with it, what it was like to have a demon within yourself.

Kazeshini was born right then.

* * *

"...I still can't believe you were the one who fell in love with me," Kira chuckled, leaning his head against Shuuhei's shoulder as they sat on the porch to the 9th Division barracks.

"And I still can't believe the person who was disgusted by homosexuality decades ago would someday end up with a man," Hisagi had an arm wrapped around Kira's waist, smiling down at the blond, "I sure learned a valuable lesson back then..."

"Yes, I no longer saw you with more than one woman at a time."

"Not that," Shuuhei raised his hand to caress blond locks, leaning forward to kiss Kira's head, inhaling his scent, "I learned that I was a complete idiot and too forward... And that I couldn't get just "anyone"... Besides, Kazeshini was born at that time. So my guilt is still with me..."

Shaking his head, Kira looked up at Shuuhei, "The past no longer matters though. I am here with you now," the blond let a tender smile adorn his features, "Ichimaru-taichou made me learn a valuable lesson too. It's thanks to him that my personality changed drastically and-"

"Don't talk about him, Izuru... My blood boils every time I hear you mention him," the brunet ran his other hand down Kira's thigh, capturing his hand and entwining their fingers.

"Well, despite everything, he opened my eyes..." Kira still smiled, "...but you know, what surprised me most was... Why didn't you go for Abarai-kun back then? You two would have worked...kind of."

The brunet laughed at that, "Abarai and I had a few things going on, I admit, but never love or anything corny like tha-Ow!" Kira's fist collided with Shuuhei's shoulder at that.

"Oh, so our love is corny now?" Izuru pouted playfully, receiving a bright grin from Shuuhei and a kiss on the lips.

"And I wouldn't change it for the world," the brunet chuckled, receiving a brightest of smiles from Kira.

Indeed... And that was how the days went on.

_**The End.**_


End file.
